I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
