i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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