I heard we made out
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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