I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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