oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
