And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize