There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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