Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My feet surprised me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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