is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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