i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
