I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
