Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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