I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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