How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
