he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Vodka?
Forever.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
