I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
