Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
