Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
