with your own penis?
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
