What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
