Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
