Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Did I show you my penis last night?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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