After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
