sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
