I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
