I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
