Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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