well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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