I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
