guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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