its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My penis needs a shock collar
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
