It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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