worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
