Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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