I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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