those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's always time for handjobs
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Randomize
