Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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