it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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