We need to rekindle our bromance
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
