did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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