You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
