I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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