walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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