Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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