if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
