If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
