She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
