She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
