The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
