Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
