the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
