But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
third nipple confirmed
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
