i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
