You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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