Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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