Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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