Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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