We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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